Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize