I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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