Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
