hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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