I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
