You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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