i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
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