See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
