We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize