And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
