doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
