I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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