NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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