i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
