I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
