i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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