I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
