All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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