i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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