all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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