my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
