Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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