belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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