pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
