listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize