Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
