are you still at the devil's house?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
