Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
