I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
