How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
