Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
