i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize