Your tits are I can't wait for
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
