One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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