I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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