so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
