Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Dignity is for republicans.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
