Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
