I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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