The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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