Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
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