I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize