PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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