you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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