if i can run in heels then i can drive
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
whose ass print is on the piano?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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