My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
