the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
