Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
