This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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