i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
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