I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
