i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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