I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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