We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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