You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
