how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
