Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
