Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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