Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
