Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize