You made me cry and you don't even care
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
