Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
