hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Dicks are not precious.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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