dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
