I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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