margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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