C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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