Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
