It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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