I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
