I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
