i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Even my vagina gasped.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
