I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
