Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Just high enough for therapy.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
