I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Sorry about my life...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
