I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
