so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
