You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
