i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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