bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize