Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
