dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
